Would you marry yourself

Would you marry yourself

Salary and Benefits.

Own place. 

Own car. 

God Fearing. 

Smart. 

Driven. 

No kids. 

Handsome, but not overly attractive. 

Aggressive, but not intimidating.

That’s it. Well that’s the beginning of it. What’s it, you ask? My list, honey. It breaks down the minimum qualifications for ‘the one.’ It’s like applying for a mortgage, right? He walks up, fills out the app, 24-48 hours passes and it’s either approved or denied right? Wrong!!

More like he applies meets two and a half of my pre-qualifications, 3 dates and a failed orgasm later I’m back at square one.


But I digress.

I get so worked up thinking about how unfair it is. I’m the full package and I keep meeting dud’s. What gives? After gossiping and spilling tea one night with my good girlfriend Jen (hey girl hey!!) the question was posed: would you marry yourself? 

I joke all the time about being a gold/goal digger. It’s less about money, more about being an asset. These are the things to consider if YOU think you deserve to be swept off of your feet.


1. Your finances

Are you willing to share them? I mean really share them. Things like bank statements, how you budget or maybe general info like are your school loans paid or deferred? He may love you, but not enough if your DTI (debt to income ratio) is too high and you guys can’t qualify for anything together.

Which brings me to CREDIT! Working in finance it’s so sad when only one person in the partnership can carry the credit burden for the marriage. Remember even if your credit is jacked up there are credit repair services which can assist. So start now!

Let’s not forget escalating debt and child support. Yes ladies we pay child support, too. And yes it should be on time and current. 

Come to a man as you would want him to come to you.

2. Goal Digging

Most of us want a successful man, but are you successful by your own definition? And if you aren’t have you figured out why not? Have you mapped out your goals and the steps you need to take to achieve them? If you’re answer is no to any of these questions then ask yourself: Does this damper my independence?

You can be independent even though you haven’t begun to be successful by your own terms.

3. Independence

Who do you call when you need something done? Is it still mom and dad? Or have you established a savings, a safety net credit card, or an accountability partner you can toss your spare car key to!? (Don’t lose it like me!!) 

Let’s not forget government assistance…sorry you’re not independent yet either, this is another resource established to help you, but should not be for a long term.

4. Wellbeing

Who are you and how are you? This includes mental and physical illnesses. If you haven’t taken care of yourself, don’t expect someone else to. Maintain your wellness check ups as well. Don’t run to the doctor when things are wrong, maintenance is essential as we get older!

Think of yourself and make a resume mentioning the things I talked about above: independent or lack there of, unsuccessful, bad credit, depressed etc. Would you accept yourself for the job as ‘life partner?’ 
So would you marry yourself?


Outfit courtesy of Hautelooks Clothing. Read about there sponsored shoot Here.

18 thoughts on “Would you marry yourself

  1. Girl I’m currently writing a book on this very topic! So much to say, but I have initially answered that question NO a few years ago, I was a mess. But with growth, time, counseling, and really loving me…. even with a few flaws still lingering, I’d definitely say yes now!

  2. Really, really good content here! It is so important for us as women to do personal inventory on ourselves while we are dating and even while we are in relationship or married! We cannot have WHOLE relationships when we are not whole independently, by ourselves.

  3. I knew this was gonna be good based on the title alone. The questions you pose yourself are things we should ask ourselves before beginning the “mortgage” application!

  4. I would. 10 years ago, I wouldn’t and I tried so hard for my ex to, but I know now that I wasn’t ready. Am I ready now? No, but I’m a lot better than where I was…progress

  5. interesting questions posed here… I’ve always joked to my husband… in my next life, i wanted to marry a wife like me.. šŸ™‚ so yes… I’d definitely marry me.

  6. Taking personal inventory of ourlives is so important. Asking those hard questions are a must!
    Very dope post, I have to share this.

  7. I feel that these are all very valid points that one needs to consider. But it’s also important to remember that a marriage isn’t solely a financial decision, neither is it a business partnership. I have my flaws, we all do, it’s important to know what you’re willing to tolerate from a financial standpoint, but it’s not a top priority (for me). So yes lol, I would marry myself. Great post!

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