The more I date, the more I realize that I set standards for myself and disregard them as soon as attraction sets in. Does anybody else feel me? He’s a Shemar Moore in the face but has the attitude of T.I. Or he’s Ryan Gosling in the flesh but has the brain of Beavis and Butthead. The question I began to ask myself was: why do I keep meeting these unqualified or underqualified men?
I had not stuck to my own rules. Isn’t that how they work? Rules work as long as they’re followed? Unfortunately, I allowed my own insecurities to make me more open to…well: Fuck Boys. So what does it take? Not much.
- Consistency. I have no time for men playing double dutch with my heart, either you are in or you aren’t. This consistency also is required once we are IN a relationship. Consistently making an effort to treat me as you did when we were courting is important. This is in regards to dates, making me a priority…and this brings me to #2
- Communication. How many times have I had communication issues in a relationship?? Endless. Be mindful of what your partner is expecting from you. Some people are comfortable with speaking to their partner once a week, others once a day. If you don’t have any communication standards don’t be selfish by thinking your partner is the same way. I for one enjoy being nagged consistently via text, Snapchat, Instagram, Twitter, phone, facetime, Pinterest, FaceBook, Moodle, Blackboard, e-mail, or even old school pigeon mail. Other’s might think that’s overboard…but hey.
3. Class. We all come from different backgrounds, therefore etiquette and behavorial standards will differ. But what you won’t do is walk ahead of me on the street, nor will I open my own doors. How do you let a man know that you have preferences in this regard? Open up the conversation by asking about his preferences or non-negotiables in the relationship. This will allow you to state your own without coming across as harsh or overbearing.
4. Cash. Need I explain? Gone are the days of women staying at home, most of the time we are 50-50 if not 60 (women)-40. Currently, I find it extremely hard to find a man who can match me financially. If I want to be apart of a persons life, I’d like to be an asset, and that person should do the same.
5. Compromise. The ability to compromise is essential in a relationship. Nowadays, I find most men (I attract) are hard headed and stubborn. This leads to arguments and unresolved issues. Let’s face it, arguments are inevitable, but being able to agree to disagree to make peace is required.
These are my 5 non negotiable standards. Standards will help lead you in the right direction. If the person doesn’t fit these criteria I have made a decision to just cut it before it goes any further. What about you guys? Do you guys have standards for your perfect mate?