Cushions…Required in Relationships?

I was riding to work the other day listening to the radio and there was a huge debate about whether a person should keep a “cushion” while they’re in a relationship.

Cushion – a person or persons a person in a committed relationship keeps around for comfort or other significant purposes.

Here’s a tea spiller: I LOVE CUSHIONS. They’re perfect for late night conversations, gas money or a loan, dinner when I don’t want to pay for it, impromptu random fun and NO OBLIGATIONS. These situations are ideal when your significant other is JUST NOT THE ONE.

 

Cushions are for single people! Be real. Stop philandering if you aren’t satisfied.

In most of my relationships I’ve kept a cushion. Multiple cushions. I had so many cushions I was a damn couch. My cushions always offered a benefit for my ego. I felt loved. I felt attractive. I felt needed. How the hell do you have a whole boyfriend and don’t feel loved, attracted or needed? There was a validation I desired and unfortunately the price I had to pay for it may have cost me my relationship.

 

Not that my boyfriends at the time knew about the cushioning, but integrity is everything. How can a relationship thrive and reach it’s full potential if the energy fueling it is going towards other people?

Let’s be real. Nobody is going to be everything to someone. If the person you’ve decided to partner with doesn’t fit the mold maybe you need to loosen the fit or tell him. Trust me, it’s easier to hear someone tell you they don’t fit the mold versus getting frustrated with them because you expect them to fit some ideological mold you’ve created.

 

Do you all keep cushions? Does your significant other know? How has it impacted your relationship if at all?

Hat: Forever 21

Jacket: Missguided

Shorts: GoJane

Shoes: GoJane

 

22 thoughts on “Cushions…Required in Relationships?

  1. Me personally I use to keep cushions, but it was because I was immature and wasn’t mentally ready to be in a relationship. However if were to get in a relationship now I wouldn’t have cushions.

  2. I’ve never even heard of a ‘cushion’ but no I wouldn’t keep one. I’m married but even when I was dating I never liked that feeling of insecurity from a person and would therefore never do anything to make someone else feel that way. I feel if you’re exclusive that it’s just that – nothing else.

  3. When I was younger, totally. For some of the same reasons. I’m happily married now and even while dating my husband I didn’t have anything on the side. He was the couch chair and ottoman too. When it’s real you don’t need supplements.

  4. This my first time hearing this term. I don’t think I ever had a cushion…although it’s possible in my younger days. But I’m also the kind of person who doesn’t like to waste time in a relationship that doesn’t look to be going anywhere. So, I’d rather just not be with the person.

  5. I have never heard of this term. I understand why someone may do it. Not a good idea to have one during a relationship for sure. If the person you are with isn’t satisfying then time to move on.

  6. I definitely have never heard of this term but feel like the only cushion I need is my husband. Maybe if I was young and single I would have a few “cushions” on the side but not if I was in a committed relationship. I would be PISSED if I found out that my dude had a cushion, chair, couch or whatever you wanna call it, so I wouldn’t do that to him. Karma is real.

  7. I can understand cushions but personally I can’t do it and would want my s/o to do it either. But, to each it’s own.

  8. Interesting perspective! Never heard of cushioning before but I guess it’s something most people would rather save for when they’re single. Off topic but great outfits and photos!

  9. I definitely think when I was younger and in relationships I had cushions but now that I’m older I feel like my man should be the only cushion I need. When I was younger I was seeking a lot of validation because I wasn’t receiving it from the relationship like you stated in the article. I’ve never thought of those people as cushions until now. Great read!

  10. This was an interesting read. I’ve never had a cushion. I look for the reassurance and late night talks from my boyfriend. I don’t think that I would want to be in a relationship where I’m not best friends with my partner.

    Love that denim jacket

  11. I have never heard the term cushion. That is definitely interesting. I believe that in order to avoid these types of situations we must invest in ourselves spiritually. That way we are lead on a journey to the right person. Sometimes we just pick the wrong person, but in most cases it’s because we are void within.

  12. Girl! I was just about to write my next blog post on this subject! I had a cushion as well and I had to make a choice to either keep my cushion or lose my man. So Thank you for writing this post.

  13. I don’t think it’s okay if you are in a committed relationship. Even if you agree with your partner. I’m a firm believer of if it’s not meeting your standards let it go or re-evaluate your standards and adjust them to your liking or you can alway motivate them (the significant other ) to upgrade themselves for the better but you can’t change anyone so after that you may have to let them go. If you do have a variety of cushions I think the best thing to do is just date. Or you could always have sugar daddies.

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