Thot or Not?

Thot or Not?

Being a single woman in this day in age has multiple struggles. Being a single mom in this day in age has multiple struggles. It’s levels to these struggles. Being a single mom while working on your career, your body, credit score, and perfectly gelled baby hair is a struggle. And that is just the beginning of the struggle. So how HOW am I supposed to find my Boaz in the midst of all these struggles?


Two things happen…

  1. He has NO struggle, therefore, he believes my struggle is not REAL.


2. I ruin it…and deem him unfit.

What am I supposed to do…


As we approach *sigh* our 30’s, has the “friends with benefits” boat sailed off into the sunset? Dare I ask the question:

To Thot, or Not?

This is a much deeper issue than spreading your legs or casual sex. Is casual sex getting in the way of finding real commitment? And there’s also this:

“For every 100 unmarried women there are 88 unmarried men.”-U.S. Census Bureau. (America’s Families and Living Arrangements: 2010).

Single ladies, it’s tough for us already, even tougher when some of us are vying for the same guy. In some instances a person who recently escaped from the restraints of a relationship might not want to be a habitual boyfriend hopper, but enjoy the companionship of a male. Does she have to choose relationship or no sex? Honestly, when there isn’t much to choose from, why be forced to settle for a relationship? However, there is a flip side.

Others would say that this mentality is what led to the influx of casual sex in the first place, which eventually destroyed what we refer to as the sanctity of marriage. Which came first?


So what do you think? Friend’s with benefits a waste of time? Or one night stands? Leave me your opinions or thoughts in the comments below.


11 thoughts on “Thot or Not?

  1. I honestly feel that people should do whatever they want to do. For me, that was dating, and not sleeping with the people that I was dating, because I had a son already, and didn’t want to add another child to the mix. I knew that the next person I slept with, I wanted to be married to, and that’s what worked for ME. Folks have different ways of processing things, and different ways to measure what makes them loose or not. That’s not for anyone else to judge,

    1. Totally agree. As long as you are protecting yourself physically and emotionally you do what’s best for you. I had a couple of casual partners so quickly learned it wasnt “my thing” but I never knock anyone else.

  2. It’s nothing like having your own man…In the meantime, work on yourself and the things you love to do. Don’t settle. Follow your heart.

  3. Ultimately, why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free? If I were going to give advice to single women, it would be to save physical intimacy for marriage. The only man worthy of that part of us is committed to a lifetime with us. We set ourselves up to be single forever when we don’t guard ourselves.

  4. I’m with Natasha, folks have to learn to stop trying to push their beliefs on others. If someone is doing something that makes them feel good and truly make them happy – then do it. If they aren’t happy, they are the only ones who can do something about it. Funny enough, my hubby and I got busy the first night and we’ve been together for 11 years and married for 8. I’ve always been a rule breaker. To each their own.

  5. I’m all for waiting for marriage before having sex. So much comes with a sexual relationship. Kids, std’s, drama. I agree with working on yourself and letting God take care of the rest.

  6. This is a tough issue. I’ve been out of the game for a minute, so I really don’t know what I’d do. I do know that I would always wait on my own guy- whatever we are to each other of would just have to be us though. Faithful friends with benefits…. but just be careful and follow your heart.

  7. Honestly, to each their own. What works for some doesn’t work for others. I recently ended a four year relationship and am back on the dating scene realizing its annoying lol Like another commenter said, I’m using this time to focus on self, learn what I do and don’t want, and becoming a better me.

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