The world we live in has created this tarnished atmosphere where infidelity is embraced. Honestly, “reality” TV has given cheaters a different pedestal to stand on, and now everyone has a different perspective on relationships. I can attest to being one of those people who’s perspective has been affected. As I sit here, I can’t think of any long-term relationship that I was in where one of us did not cheat.
Yes, I said one of us. I, too am guilty. I cheated, so what.
Today I will spill a little tea, for the benefit of understanding the mindset of a cheater. Let’s be clear on what cheating is. It’s an action with another individual that your significant other would deem inappropriate. These guidelines are something you would have previously discussed. Every couple has different limits on what they can and cannot deal with. For some flirting is deemed acceptable, for others conversations with people of the opposite sex is wrong.
I remember the first time I “cheated.” I was a senior in high school, and I met a guy. This guy went to the same high school as my boyfriend, but I didn’t care I still wanted to hang out with him. He drove, which earned him points back then…(hell, who am I kidding it still earns you points now)…anywhoo, he picks me up and we go to his house. I know what you’re thinking–and no we did not cross that line. However, we hung out for a bit and then when it was time to go I had to meet up with my boyfriend. I told the guy to drop me off at the bus stop by my boyfriends house, and lo-and behold guess who was at the stop: BAE!
My heart dropped. I couldn’t breathe. Panic ensued. Ya’ll! I could’ve died. In fact I’m sure I did die, because I had an out of body experienced as I walked past my boyfriend like everything was cool. Needless to say, once we got inside the gloves came off.
Horrible, horrible experience! You would think I would never want to cheat again…well.
Remember the guy that cheated on me for five years? Well, karma was my bitch because I paid him back with a taste of his own medicine. But can I tell you what the reality shows don’t show? They’ll show you the fights that ensue, or maybe a snippet of the hurt girlfriend crying. But they can never show the part of a person that is damaged by the actions of another.
So..yes I cheated so what? The what is this: As insignificant as it may have been at that time, I’m sure it mattered to my high school boyfriend just as it mattered to my long term boyfriend that I was wrong and I hurt them. These things have lasting affects on a persons psyche. Whether they’d admit it or not is the true dilemma. But we’ve all heard the saying: hurt people, hurt people.
Don’t be apart of the problem, instead lets look back at our own issues and start encouraging faithfulness. Encouraging families, not broken homes, encouraging husbands, not baby fathers. It’s all in what you glorify. We have to stop glorifying these distorted views of what families are, and embrace what has always been right: wholehearted love assisted with undying respect! Love still exists, but respect has gone straight out of the window. It was downright disrespectful for me to hang out with that guy, knowing my boyfriend would not approve. It was even more disrespectful for me to cheat on my boyfriend just because he cheated on me.
Has anybody else ever done something wrong in a relationship only to learn more about themselves or relationships in general afterwards?
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