I Cheated…So What!

I Cheated…So What!

The world we live in has created this tarnished atmosphere where infidelity is embraced. Honestly, “reality” TV has given cheaters a different pedestal to stand on, and now everyone has a different perspective on relationships. I can attest to being one of those people who’s perspective has been affected. As I sit here, I can’t think of any long-term relationship that I was in where one of us did not cheat.

Yes, I said one of us. I, too am guilty. I cheated, so what.

Today I will spill a little tea, for the benefit of understanding the mindset of a cheater. Let’s be clear on what cheating is. It’s an action with another individual that your significant other would deem inappropriate. These guidelines are something you would have previously discussed. Every couple has different limits on what they can and cannot deal with. For some flirting is deemed acceptable, for others conversations with people of the opposite sex is wrong.

I remember the first time I “cheated.” I was a senior in high school, and I met a guy. This guy went to the same high school as my boyfriend, but I didn’t care I still wanted to hang out with him. He drove, which earned him points back then…(hell, who am I kidding it still earns you points now)…anywhoo, he picks me up and we go to his house. I know what you’re thinking–and no we did not cross that line. However, we hung out for a bit and then when it was time to go I had to meet up with my boyfriend. I told the guy to drop me off at the bus stop by my boyfriends house, and lo-and behold guess who was at the stop: BAE!

My heart dropped. I couldn’t breathe. Panic ensued. Ya’ll! I could’ve died. In fact I’m sure I did die, because I had an out of body experienced as I walked past my boyfriend like everything was cool. Needless to say, once we got inside the gloves came off.

Horrible, horrible experience! You would think I would never want to cheat again…well.

Remember the guy that cheated on me for five years? Well, karma was my bitch because I paid him back with a taste of his own medicine. But can I tell you what the reality shows don’t show? They’ll show you the fights that ensue, or maybe a snippet of the hurt girlfriend crying. But they can never show the part of a person that is damaged by the actions of another.

So..yes I cheated so what? The what is this: As insignificant as it may have been at that time, I’m sure it mattered to my high school boyfriend just as it mattered to my long term boyfriend that I was wrong and I hurt them. These things have lasting affects on a persons psyche. Whether they’d admit it or not is the true dilemma. But we’ve all heard the saying: hurt people, hurt people.

Don’t be apart of the problem, instead lets look back at our own issues and start encouraging faithfulness. Encouraging families, not broken homes, encouraging husbands, not baby fathers. It’s all in what you glorify. We have to stop glorifying these distorted views of what families are, and embrace what has always been right: wholehearted love assisted with undying respect! Love still exists, but respect has gone straight out of the window. It was downright disrespectful for me to hang out with that guy, knowing my boyfriend would not approve. It was even more disrespectful for me to cheat on my boyfriend just because he cheated on me.

Has anybody else ever done something wrong in a relationship only to learn more about themselves or relationships in general afterwards?

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25 thoughts on “I Cheated…So What!

  1. Great read!! And I love the perspective on personal growth and how just because we were one way doesn’t mean we have to stay that way.

  2. I’ve been cheated on and yup I’ve cheated. I don’t watch reality tv but I can imagine the ridiculousness of it all. True hurt is hard to get over.

  3. Love this! Cheating truly does affect the psyche of a person so much so that they carry that baggage with them to the next relationship (if there is a next). I too think that society needs to get back to honoring and glorifying true faithfulness and healthy families.

  4. This shows a great deal of growth and maturity! I know that there are a lot of young girls who need to hear true stories like this. I have done somethings wrong in past relationships I try to learn from my mistakes and I definitely try to avoid hurting others. Thanks for sharing ♥

  5. This was such an interesting article & I appreciate your courage in sharing your story. Many times the cheater doesn’t always understand repercussions of their actions.

  6. As a mom of both a 20 year old son and a 14 year old daughter, I have the same conversation with them in terms of respect, trust and honesty. Too often we teach our girls to be pure and holy but allow our sons to run a muck not realizing where not even preparing them to be in relationship with one another. Aligning our sons and daughters with the same values will get us to a better place. Great read!

  7. Being cheated on was definitely one of the worst feelings ever. It changed me, it changed our relationship and friendship, and I honestly can’t see myself cheating on someone knowing the consequences. Great post and kudos to you for putting yourself out there.

  8. I agree that reality tv has made cheating a lot more visible these days. It’s almost the typical story line now. But I think back to old school songs like As We Lay, Me and Mrs Jones, or Secret Lovers from back in the day that made you feel like as long as you were following your heart it was okay even if it hurt someone else.

  9. I found myself reacting to the “So What” comments early on. but I see you were building it up to showcase how hurtful it can be to cheat. Thanks for sharing your story.

  10. This is a good read and cheaters hate cheaters. Faithfulness is part of every relationship but there are times you want to try something new to make you realize your values. Thanks!

  11. I totally agree, hurt people hurt people. A lot of things happen because of the actions of the other person in the relationship.

  12. Im sorry you said you never been a relationship in which one or both parties didnt cheat. That sucks but I hope for your next relationship you dont have to go through that with your next partner.

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