The Joys of Single Motherhood

The Joys of Single Motherhood


Hey All. As Spring emerges I’ve begun thinking about the things I am leaving behind in the winter. I would consider this an emotional “spring cleaning.” Among those cobwebs, dust and old clothes that I’m getting rid of in my emotional closet is the bitterness of being a single mom. Most of the time that title brings forth negative thoughts, not just from the mom, but from the people you encounter. It’s almost as though people feel some sense of pity when they discover you are a single parent. But not I, honey, I am proud! I wear a hat that others shy away from and I do it with class and precision.
My pregnancy story (which I’ll blog about later) did not include an engagement or fancy fairy tale wedding at the end. Just a mom fighting to make the best life for her son. These are the reasons why I am happy about being a single mom.


1. I have peace. I am comfortable making decisions on my own without drama or combativeness. Sometimes being the person who is single handedly responsible for making the big choices can be daunting. BUT the other options can be worse than daunting. I try my best to avoid tension, and in my situation it’s just easier if I do it myself rather than A) arguing, B) waiting for an answer that will never come or C) overcoming the anxiety that occurs when having to depend on someone who is less than dependable. The definition of peace is: freedom from disturbance; quiet and tranquility. When deciding to take the reigns as the parent there will always be small forest fires, but considering I’ve been doing this for almost 10 years the flames have been tamed. Now don’t get me wrong it is difficult at times but no path is smooth during a long trip.

2. My son is doing well. I find that the women raising future men have so many obstacles to overcome. How can a woman raise a man? The key is finding that right village. Doesn’t it still take a village to raise a child? So many people have lost sight of the village! When I was growing up I had at least three mother figures and the same for father figures. I think many of the new aged parents have been forced to endure tough situations, where maybe they didn’t have a father figure, and now their child does not have much of one either. It is very unfortunate. Luckily, in my case, I was raised by an amazing father who is very much involved in my sons life. Part of my sons success (don’t think it’s all bubble gum and roses he has his moments) is due to me paying attention to his behavior, maintaining a schedule, and always having a back up plan.  And in the midst of all the junk I do (school, work, blog, networking) I always find time for he and I to have some time together.


3. I just stopped giving a damn. Aside from the renewed sense of peace and my son doing well…I honestly just stopped giving a fuck about what the other parent was or wasn’t going to do. No shade. I just can’t stress myself about it. I know I GOT IT! I think some people wallow in their sorrows for so long they become more obsessed with the non custodial parent than there ability to be a single parent. Get your job done! You have been given a responsibility, and although some people don’t feel obligated to their responsibilities, don’t be so distracted and distraught that you stray away from yours.

Okay…that’s my rant on my renewed sense of clarity. Does anybody feel the same? Or different? Let me know in the comments.


Outfit Details:

1. Sweater Poncho: Boohoo

2. Hat: Boohoo

3. Boots: One and Only (locally owned boutique) similar ones HERE

4. MCM clutch: Came with a larger bag HERE

 

30 thoughts on “The Joys of Single Motherhood

  1. First, You are giving this outfit life! You look great. Now I am happy that you have found a way to make the best out of being a single parent. It is great to be able to move on with your life, care for your child, be you and not hold any grudge or resentment. I’m not sure what your story is, but it seems like you are doing a great job raising a fine young man. Kudos to you!

  2. It can relate. It can certainly be daunting and at times exhausting when you are the sole person responsible for everything but the village and a support system is key. I definitely had to learn that it’s ok to reach out and ask for help sometimes. Kudos to you for being a supermom from one single mom to another. We got this.

  3. My husband was raised by an amazing single mom! I couldn’t ask for a better father and friend for our children. My mother-in-law did an outstanding job raising three boys and I have no doubt you will do the same for your son 🙂

  4. I love your outfit seems like your fine with the circumstances good for you in a positive way.

  5. Cheers to clarity! My mother adopted me as a single woman and even though there were moments I wish there were 2 parents, I ended up doing well and there was NEVER any drama.

  6. Shouts out to moms everywhere doing the best they can. Single or not, you’re a mother first, so hats off to you for coming into peace and reflection. That outfit is Killer!

  7. Great post. I agree as a single mom raising a son, so many people act like it’s a death sentence or something. It’s not. You do what you need to do just like any other parent. Well said!!!

  8. Go Girl! I love this line.. ‘don’t be so distracted and distraught that you stray away from yours’. As a parent we have a responsibility to our children, let’s not make others distract us in doing our job. Stay focus!

  9. I appreciate your honesty on this matter. I’ve been trying to write something similar just from the angle of stop being angry. This was a great read and I hope it inspires others to just take a minute to reflect and stop.

  10. Love your honesty and transparency. Being at peace is key to moving on and giving your son the ability to have an emotionally stable parent. Cheers to that! Uhmmmm the boots though! Love the entire outfit!

  11. Your son is blessed to have a strong mother and role models around him. It does take a village, but I’m glad what you said about blocking out some of the outside noise. You have to do what’s right for you and your family, and not everyone on the outside will see that.

    Great boots, BTW!

  12. Wonderful reflections! The best thing is to stop caring about what others think and what they are doing! I can definitely relate as I’m raising a son, I had plenty of help from my parents thank goodness for my Dad! Plus his dad wasn’t completely absent but still he was kinda iffy. Anyway my son is now in college and thriving I’m amazed at the decisions he makes he’s so smart.

    Love the look !

  13. YOU GO GIRL! I was raised by a single mom and even before my husband passed, I was a single married mom. I feel you. Continue to shine and your son is definitely in the best hands possible. Loving your style too. Gorgeous!

  14. I love the boots! Although its not easy glad to see you are raising your son despite some obstacles. Hopefully his father will eventually take on the role as you do but until then keep up the good work.

  15. My father passed away when my mother still had 3 of us to raise. Being raised by a strong single mother taught me that as women we can do anything we put our minds to! Kudos to you for being able to find the peace in that role <3 Love the outfit!

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