5 Things I Learned From Getting Dumped

5 Things I Learned From Getting Dumped

So today…I am going there. I am addressing an embarrassing topic for most. Yup, I. Got. Dumped. Kicked to the curb, carried, left alone, all of the above. The most beautiful thing about it is I’ve actually grown from it. I mentioned in the first post that this blog was going to be about my journey, and relationship struggles has been a portion of my life. We all idolize these #relationshipgoals, but forget about reality WITHOUT the hashtag. Keep reading to see what going through the struggle taught me.1. I am stronger than I think. Since I love strong and hard, a failed relationship seemed like it would break me. To prevent myself from going through pain, or God forbid starting all over again, I would hold on to the last thread of a relationship. The strangest thing is, when my ex said those four horrible words: ‘We should be friends.’ I was not broken. There was no long sappy night full of tears, or multiple pages of text messages. The stronger you are, the easier it is to accept what cannot be changed.

2. It was not my fault. After a long term relationship is over both parties probably dwell on what happened, what went wrong, or what mistakes they’d made. I sat back and I evaluated it all, and realized it wasn’t something I’d done, nor was it something of his doing. It just wasn’t meant to be. If it doesn’t fit, don’t force it, and people have to learn to be okay with it.

3. It’s okay to be alone. LORD!!! I almost hollered. I HATE being alone. That empty feeling. Who do I call about good news? Who do I cuddle with? Who can I sit around and do nothing with? Argue about dishes with? These are the little things that an insecure person has to toggle around with after a break up. Okay…honest declaration: I thought these things as the relationship started to go downhill. BUT guess what? All of these things are not worth having, if you are not sharing them with the right person. Hell…share them with yourself. Congratulate yourself, take yourself on date, get a drink and get over it. Accept and love yourself because it feels damn good.

4. This ones a toughie. When you and your significant other break up, he breaks up with your family too. Be careful how close your family gets to your boyfriend and vice versa. Although you can establish great relationships, or long lasting friendships in some cases, but in others you can earn a clan full of awkward social media enemies.

5. I am a complete person without a man. As I approach 30, I get more and more antsy about getting married, having more children, buying our first home together etc. etc. I felt like once I reached all of these milestones my life would be complete. Wrong! If you believe your life is incomplete, it will continue to be that way. If you live a purposeful, focused and full life no matter the circumstance…it will continue to be that way.  You know the question: is the glass half full, or half empty? It’s the same thing with being single. Or really in ANY situation. Life is what you make it.

Yup. I am still living, and my blog is the best boyfriend I could ever have. I hoped this enlightened a few minds. The outfit details are below. Ciao!
Thigh High Booties: Shoedazzle. I’ve had these for almost three years, and only worn them three times.

Jumpsuit: FashionNova

Sleeveless Jacket: Boohoo

Hat & Glasses: Forever 21

 

 

44 thoughts on “5 Things I Learned From Getting Dumped

  1. I was dumped also in June of 2016. I wasn’t what he wanted and in reality he was not what I wanted but I tried so hard to make the relationship work. He treated me like garbage all throughout the relationship but I accepted it because I wanted a relationship so bad. You start to really see your blessings when you let go of things that is not inteneded for you. You are doing an amazing job.

  2. I can DEFINITELY relate to this 100%. No matter how much I knew my ex was always up to no good, I just couldn’t imagine being without him (until i finally let him go! lol). But, hey..we grow older, we live and we learn. Good post and pics boo! Keep em coming!

  3. Omg!!!! Ain’t this all the truth!!! And you hit it on the head with them ex’s && them families girl!!! Keep on being g strong!!!

  4. Great post!

    Breaking up is hard, especially after being together for some time. The best thing is always remembering your worth. Again, great read

  5. Hey Fashion Queen, I Miss You And Totally Agree With

    #4 . Be careful how close your family gets to your boyfriend and vice vers….

    It’s Even Harder When You And Your Significant Other Have Created A Blessing While Together , A Child.

    Congrats On The Blog And Your New Journey , I Have Faith In whatever You Decide To Do And I Love You …!!!

  6. So sorry about your break up, but it takes a big girl to have done all you just wrote and do it without all the drama. I’ve got a blogpost and youtube videos on topics such as these, you could check it out if it interests you. Tok care of YOURSELF

  7. Girl you are absolutely right! There is no shame in getting dumped. I got dumped a few years back and at first I didn’t want anyone to find out about it. I actually wronte a post about it a week ago. And my cousin called me out about it. She said “Getting dumped isn’t an achievement, and you want to tell the whole world”. I didn’t care because it happened so long ago, and plus I am married now. After thinking about it, I removed the post. smh.

    After my ex broke up with me, and as the years progressed I realized that that man wasn’t the one God intended for me. Yes I was sad when it was over, and I thought about all those other things about being alone. But he did me he biggest favor. Through that experience I got closer to God and worked on serving him, and not a man. a couple of years later God brought another man into my life, who is now my husband. Look at God, Sometimes God does things and we just don’t understand. He removes certain people from our lives, only to bring a blessing our way.

  8. These are valuable lessons. I had to learn to be alone. I’m in a relationship and I’m still learning to be okay with me. I’ve been in long term relationships and I became so dependent on my mate to be my everything.

  9. Sometimes it takes getting dumped to realize some pretty cool things about yourself (and some not so cool things too). We aren’t meant to be with everyone so moving on is a good thing. It helps lead us where we belong.

  10. I can totally say been there and done that! Everything your feeling I’ve felt everything your going through I went through! Look at me now!! U can’t look for somebody let that somebody look for u!

  11. Breaking up is hard but most people stay because it’s comfortable.. I hate getting to know someone all over again. Who has time for that but if the relationship is toxic it’s best to be alone

  12. I have 3 older sisters who are still single. I don’t think of them as being a lone but as having more time for self-exploration.

  13. #3 and #5 are both good points I still have to remind myself of. It’s been almost 2 years since I’ve had a serious relationship and those are still areas of concern I have to work through sometimes

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